Do you have co-workers who are passive-aggressive, controlling, or even outright bullying others when you’re supposed to be collaborating?
Are you appalled at some of the things that come out of some coworkers’ mouths, but always feel caught off guard and aren’t sure how to respond?
This is an off-the-cuff episode where I’m speaking to you directly from the heart, giving the same advice I’d give to a friend. Listen in to hear some approaches I’ve used when communicating with difficult colleagues.
In this coaching call, a 25-year veteran teacher explores why it’s taking her so long to get out the door on Friday afternoons when she’s trying to plan for the following week. Rebecca shares, “I’m a really good teacher, but with as long as I take to plan lessons, I should be one of the best in the world!”
Together, we explore ways to streamline her planning process so she’s spending less time fitting the pieces together and hunting for good activities. We also examine her Friday afternoon routines to look for ways she might be wasting time, and try to find tasks she can move to other time periods to allow her to start her weekend at a decent hour.
Rebecca’s coaching call ends with 3 actionable takeaways, one for reducing the time spent planning lessons, one for prioritizing coworker conversations without staying late, and one for re-allocating work hours to make sure she’s out the door by 4 on Fridays.
Are you constantly losing instructional time to minor disruptions and off-task behavior? What if you shifted your focus from eliminating misbehavior and interruptions to maximizing learning time?
When the goal is to eliminate interruptions, you feel like you have to address every single one so it never happens again. When the goal is to maximize learning time, you can choose a more constructive response that keeps the majority of the class on-task.
This approach will reduce the wasted class time spent on lectures about the rules and arguing with kids over what you’ve told them to do. Here’s how to plan your responses in advance so you’re not constantly exploding in frustration over minor things.
“Men and women are far more alike than they are different. And yet in our society, all of the emphasis is put on the difference. Everybody feels anger, everybody feels sadness, and it makes no sense to be gendering these feelings. As a matter of fact, not only does it not make sense, it is definitively harmful to people and to society.”
“As girls, we are not taught to acknowledge or manage our anger so much as fear, ignore, hide, and transform it. Boys learn early on about anger, but far less about other feelings, which handicaps them—and society—in different ways. Socially discouraged from seeming feminine (in other words, being empathetic, vulnerable, and compassionate), their emotional alternatives often come down to withdrawal or aggressive expressions of anger. There's no reason why all children can't learn to be kind and considerate to other people in exactly the same way.”
“What would it mean to ungender our emotions? What would the world look like if all of us were allowed to experience and productively express the full range of our emotions without penalty?”
Listen in for more great take-aways from the interview I did with Soraya Chemaly, the best-selling author of the book “Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger.” We’re talking specifically about how these issues impact children in the classroom, and how her research can support educators in coping with the stresses of emotional labor that are inherent to teaching.